Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
