whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
