she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
