So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
