dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
bring money and cleavage
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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