seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
birth control should be required to get into college
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
