We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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