You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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