She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
