I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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