i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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