I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
