i just wanna soil my oats bro
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
