We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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