im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
