the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
