So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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