At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
