I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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