so let's talk penis.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
