then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
