We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
