When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
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