the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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