K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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