I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
