Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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