just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
