so that wasnt chicken after all
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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