East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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