apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
