Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she peed on how many people?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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