Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
