it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
