Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
