Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
