He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
