Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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