I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
