how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
