no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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