I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
