I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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