just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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