I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
