I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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