giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
