Sponge bath it is.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
