He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
this hospital has no fireball
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
