Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
